Two years ago, I walked away from a relationship that had quietly consumed my sense of self. It wasn’t violent in the ways I had known before, but it was every bit as damaging. What began as a loving, supportive partnership slowly unravelled into emotional manipulation, coercive control, and psychological abuse. He isolated me from my friends and support systems, used guilt to shape my every decision, and left me constantly questioning my own reality and worth. I thought it was better than my past experiences with physical violence—until I realised this was abuse too, just harder to name.

After four years, I found the courage to leave. But the nightmare didn’t end there. He ignored every boundary I tried to set, made me feel responsible for his emotions, and his behaviour quickly escalated. He stalked me relentlessly—anonymous calls, watching my home, even breaking in. The police had to intervene, and I sought protection through the courts. Despite legal orders, he continued to harass me: following me in public, using mutual acquaintances to track me, and impersonating others to get to me. The trauma was all-encompassing. I lost sleep, struggled at work, and eventually had to change jobs just to feel a sliver of safety.

He even targeted one of my closest friends, who had supported me through everything. Initially, the police failed to extend protection to him, but eventually, we both secured court-issued orders. It took time, strength, and an exhausting legal battle, but he was finally imprisoned. Some incidents never resulted in charges—proof of how difficult it can be for victims to find justice even when the danger is real.

The experience has left me with PTSD. I’ve needed medication, therapy, and constant support to begin rebuilding. But I’m here, healing. I’m now in a safe, loving relationship with a woman who reminds me every day what healthy love looks like. I’m sharing my story not for sympathy, but because these stories need to be heard. Abuse isn’t always loud or obvious. Abusers often hide in plain sight, and anyone can become a victim.

But healing is possible. You are not to blame. You are not alone. You deserve peace. And you deserve to be free.

 

BLOG COMING NOVEMBER 2025.